Saturday, April 09, 2011

Further Interlude

Still can't think of a song that makes me feel guilty; I'm sure there must have been songs playing when I've been up to no good, doing things that I should be ashamed of, that should make me feel guilty.

I appear to have successfully blotted them out of my mind.

I feel guilty about a variety of things; it comes with the territory of a Catholic upbringing, and I suspect this is not the forum for me to go over them. It would make terribly dull reading.

I might as well tell you how much my back hurts today.

(More than usual)

I am struggling to shake the memory of the epistaxis patient who arrested on my watch. Could I have done more? Could anyone?

We'll never know. There's no reset button, no save point to return to. I've looked.

You just have to plough on, apparently.

I really need a break.

Or some therapy.


night tech said...

Time off. Time away from the hospital. You're putting too much of your soul into work. How many shifts a month are you doing?

You know patients tank through no fault of yours...doesn't matter what you do, you can't save everybody. (I thought you'd been at this awhile?) Adrenaline will skyrocket for the next epistaxis patient, use it. It's next to impossible to wrap you head around one going bad that should have been routine, nothing special...a nosebleed?

Never understood the 'Catholic Guilt' thing....blithely ignorant. Raised Jewish! (totally different paradigm re guilt)

night tech said...

Just crawling out of bed after 12 hour crash....back killing me ...caffein withdrawl headache. Love my night shifts but my body's telling me otherwise.

And how's your week going?
Worked your call shift yet? (assuming 1/7?)

Funny how we bitch when work is boring and routine yet dread the nasty adreniline raising shit. Inevitably, when my job gets interesting, some poor bastard's in serious shit. Guess the universe is better of with me being bored.